At 34, Jordan was achieving things in his life that many of his friends aspired to. At 6ft tall, he was good looking and was the sort of person ‘who lit up a room when he walked into it’. He had a lovely partner and a loving family. He held down important jobs, had his own house and his beloved cat, Tabby, who he’d adopted from a neighbour who was no longer able to care for her.
Whenever someone loses their life tragically, tributes will often follow; “they were kind and loving”, “a good friend”, “he/she was unique and one of a kind”, “they will be hugely missed” and more.
Jordan did have many friends who loved him and miss him enormously. At his funeral, friends described him as; well-mannered, a great listener, kind and considerate, intelligent, cool but humble, ridiculously handsome, a true gentleman, humorous, “being a friend with him was never a chore”, “he was the person I would usually turn to at difficult times like this”, “he was the best and most loyal friend I ever had”, “He was remarkable in every sense”.
As the months passed though and Jordan’s family met and spoke directly with some of Jordan’s closest friends, it became clear to them that he was unique and special in a way his family were unaware of:
“When we were at school, it was clear that Jordan was different and strikingly so. He was tall and very good looking, which drew people toward him but it was the way he held conversations and had views on topics which other young people simply didn’t talk about. His passion for and knowledge about different cuisines and music was incredible – when we wanted to go into town for a McDonalds, Jordan would take us to Italian restaurants instead.”
“Most kids looked up to Jordan. He was fiercely loyal and would always stand up for the underdog, publicly confronting bullies or those who would mock others”
“Although Jordan could be quite intense at times and was a strongly principled individual, he also had a wonderful sense of humour. His unique laugh was something that endeared him to others.”
As he grew older, Jordan was often drawn to those who were less fortunate. He was the kind of person who would stop and chat to homeless people and local strangers, always listening intently to whatever they had to say. Jordan’s family would often hear people tell that they knew Jordan was always genuinely interested in what they were saying – “He always took a sincere interest in what I had to share.”
Only a few days before his death, he’d stopped to speak with an old lady, near to where he lived. She was sweeping leaves from the public pathway in front of her house and in his usual kind and considerate way, Jordan thanked her and told her what a good job she was doing keeping the pavement clear for others.
Although on the outside Jordan appeared to be coping with life as well as anybody, in his later teenage years, he began to struggle with his mental health. During these years, he would experience the break-up of his first serious relationship, followed by the divorce of his parents, shortly after he’d left home to attend university. Loss of grandparents he was close to and family pets, would also have a profound effect each time. There would be other significant, life changing events, which would almost certainly have impacted on someone of a sensitive disposition like Jordan.
By his late 20’s, Jordan’s mental health was deteriorating and in the spring of 2015, shortly before his 30th birthday, he was diagnosed with clinical anxiety and depression.
Despite battling with his mental health, Jordan held down important jobs with the Home Office and the Independent Office for Police Conduct. He owned his own home and had a wonderful relationship with his partner and loved his family dearly. On the outside, Jordan would continue to be the person who everyone wanted to be around.
Following his death, Jordan’s family found a box of belongings in the attic of his home. In there, they found a number of partially completed journals. One of these journals showed an entry from May 2015 which read: “Today I’ve been researching methods of suicide again…” This entry would be written more than four and half years before he would tragically die by suicide.
Some would consider suicide a selfish act but there was nothing selfish about Jordan. It is clear that he tried to protect those closest to him, including his family, by rarely sharing the depth of his mental pain. In a final note to his family, found on his kitchen table, he finally told them: “Please know that this was the only way for me to stop the thoughts that were literally showing me no way out.”
Fewer than 30% of those who choose to end their own lives decide to leave any form of suicide note and although it doesn’t lessen the trauma and upset, knowing he was thinking of his family in those final moments is something Jordan’s family console themselves with.
It is in Jordan’s memory and his strong desire to help those who needed support the most, that The Jordan Legacy was founded in 2020 to support those who are struggling with their mental health and suicidal thoughts by embracing the values and principles Jordan himself lived by.
Our goal is to help as many people as possible to make a different choice than the one Jordan felt he had to on that day in December 2019.